closet vomit

a little diary post!

 



I’m still so in love with my photos from Valentine’s Day, I couldn’t help but include them in a post, hehehe! I was so thrilled to take these photos with my friend Eunice the other day because it’s nice to see familiar faces in a new and less-familiar place that I live in now. In fact, I’ve found that I’ve cherished my personal connections way more lately. Every phone call, text, face-to-face interaction has felt way more exhilarating and so valuable to me. Having friends, family, and all of you reach out to me the past month has really aided me in my adjustment and growing pains living in New York City.

 

I know that I am talking about the newness of NYC a WHOLE LOT lately, and I’m sure all of you are getting sick of it. But it’s been much more of a project than I expected! Moving to the most boisterous city, alone, unemployed (outside of blogging of course!), and unable to just pick up the phone to make plans with anyone has been foreign, yet so exciting.

 

I’ve been making a lot of comparisons lately. I had a dream the other night that I was in a room full of people staring at me and I felt different and isolated, and I realized that my dream was a projection of everyday fears that have come with living in a cultural and fashionable capital. I have been self-conscious because I don’t have my dream job yet, or any job at all, really. I can’t afford to wear all of the things that I feel would represent my style best. I know that these things take time and I JUST got here, but I can’t help but feel a bit timid (especially because NYFW just happened). However, I have a little mantra that I came across on the internet one day, and my mom and I printed these out and laminated them:



COMPARISON. WILL. KILL. YOU. This phrase has never been so relevant, and I need to keep it in mind. I get nervous about my body image, my clothes, my appearance, my skin, and I’m trying to remember that these things don’t matter! My sixth grade teacher used to say every day that you “die with your integrity” — I have held this idea close to my heart and have interpreted it as what matters is who you meet and the influence you leave on others. Though you all know I looooooove anything related to visual design and that will always be an artistic priority in my life, I am trying to remember that it’s human connection, not image, that is vital to thriving in this city.

I think I have progressed into ranting, so I’ll end this here with some pretty pictures from Valentine’s Day! My jacket is old from H&M, my skirt is from Uniqlo, my top is from COS, and my shoes are old from Aldo.

Until next post! xx